I HATE MORNING WOOD

Yes , I HATE MORNING WOOD . Fucking nuisance every morning ! It becomes a really BIG problem when my mom tries to wake me up . Have to pretend to be asleep with my face in the pillow till she's gone so I can turn around and look into the ceiling and keep on cursing !!!
OK , look I don't usually have wet dreams (yes , even if I'm 18 and horny!)or even sleazy dreams for that matter. IN FACT I DON'T HAVE DREAMS AT ALL . I even take care of my peeing and stuff before calling it a night! I'm not a 9 year old anymore , so I can't escape embarrassment by just saying that I think I need to pee... When you got wood , sometimes you need to do more than just pee! (You know it don't you)
Absolute fucking menace. Hey! Don't get me wrong. I'm not against the whole process of getting wood. I just fucking HATE IT when it happens at the wrong place and most definitely at the WRONG TIME!!!
I did some searching on the internet and I learnt that it happens because of many things.
1. Male testosterone levels are highest in the morning.
2.You are most relaxed when you wake up in the morning.
3.And one guy actually said , " It's probably because your PENIS RUBS AGAINST THE SHEETS ".
WTF , apparently the penis is like some kind of super-sensitive metal detector that goes crazy when it detects the IRON IN YOUR BLOOD!! Man , if that was the case then all guys would move around with a permanent wood because of their thingie rubbing against their undie.

The bottomline is that MORNING WOOD SUCKS and YOU KNOW IT! That is the whole reason that you are even bothering to read this rant.You are really lucky if you have a place to park that wood in the morning.
I HATE MORNING WOOD ! AAAAAAHHHH!

I-HATER,
18,
single,
horny...